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of New South Wales Incorporated
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Alien Abduction At Wiruna?

New Zealand Ivor Merino has finally revealed a hitherto untold story from the 1998 SPSP. It seems that, after enjoying the spit roast on Saturday afternoon, Ivor retired into the eat in kitchen to write a review on the 1998 South Pacific Star Port.

Mr Merino is patron of the Kickapakeha Wine Appreciation Club (KWAC) and had been sent by its members to Wiruna for this worthy task.

He clearly recalls having consumed at least 3 bottles of port and then nothing until he opened his eyes and saw, by dim flickering light, a metallic shell above him.

Dark, curiously out of focus figures moved around him, some inspecting him by ruby red light. He must have been held by some tractor beam, as, unable to move, he could make no resistance.

Becoming unconscious again, he awoke after dawn with a bruise to the back of his head, and his brain feeling like it had been probed by alien devices.

Ivor, who is currently writing his autobiography, suspects he may have been taken through time and space to another dimension, to which the "gate" is still open: "...Each time I have three bottles of port in two hours, the "gate" opens again for me...", he told our reporter.