"Bokglob Gröseblurter Finally Captured!"
Immediately prior to the Star Party of 1998, a reward of 10,000 Plutonian Würtzels was being offered to any sentient contriving information which would lead to the constriction and incarceration of the notorious Bokglob Gröseblurter, Alias Andrew Mullet, Alias The Callisto Kid.
Bokglob was believed to be responsible for most of the missing mass of the Galaxy, and was being sought by the Police Farce for the specific crimes of:
- Exceeding warp factor 6 while the holder of a provisional licence
- Defacing the face on Mars with a spray can
- Stealing Captain Picard's wig
- Selling blue rinse to Grey Aliens
- Out-gassing on Public transport when in zero gravity
- Joyriding in a Tardis
- Harassing Miss Alternate Universe with telepathic calls proposing marriage
- Consistently failing to abduct his monthly quota of Earthlings
- Hypersensitising his averted vision, leading to perverted imagination and hallucinating with a telescope
- Impersonating a Human Being
- Menacing Earth Police Farces with a fully-loaded Darlek Dis-assembler
Bokglob, when captured, was about 0.6843212
-14 parsecs taller than expected, and had lost about 2.07697 Neutrinos in weight. He was modelling a new head at the time, but was easily distinguished by the distinctive holograph imprinted on the left side of his right heart.
The captor wishes to remain nameless at this stage, as pronunciation of their name in the English language is intolerable to both our ears and to theirs.
The reward of 10,000 Plutonian Würtzels was paid in the form of a cheque to the captor early last week, and will be used to finance a new Tardis with Cruise Control.
