_ Taurus:- Venus moves into Taurus this month, flirts with the Seven Sisters and occults Aldebaran. If you are a male, by the end of the month, you will have seven potential girlfriends to choose from. If you are a woman, stay clear of Greek Goddesses in ambivalent moods.
` Gemini:- With Comet Hale-Bopp at Apogee and Olympus Mons in the descending node, Geminis won't know if they're coming or going. On the other hand, do Gemini's give a damn? Does anyone who knows a Gemini?
a Cancer:- On April 15, the moon stands between Mercury and Jupiter. What this has to do with Cancer is unclear, except that Cancerians are advised to avoid getting between a rock and a hard place this month, or any other month for that matter.
b Leo:- Charles Messier has been haunting Leo ever since he missed adding NGC3628 to M65 and M66. Seems he was on a bender that night. If you get lost star hopping in your sign, Charlies ghost is probably in the way, still looking.
c Virgo:- All you have going for you is minor planets Flora and Metis! Take up flower arranging or celibacy. Your time will come one of these years. Take warning from your close proximity to the Sombrero and wear a hat and block-out in summertime.
d Libra:- Boring, Boring, Boring. This sign may host a telescopic meteor or two this month, otherwise steady as she goes. That suits most sensible people just fine. The problem, is that most Librans are Fruitcakes!
e Scorpio:- Isn't having the most spectacular constellation in the Zodiac enough for you Scorpio's without wanting a forecast as well? OK then, beware the ides of March and the tides of April. Think about that for a bit!
f Sagittarius:- The near collision of Sagittarius with Capricorn this month gets your goat! Do not respond with road rage, and never drive your car unless you are wearing a seat belt and you are inside the vehicle.
g Capricorn:- Uranus and Neptune are in your sign, and if you don't like it, tough luck, as you are stuck with the bastards for quite a while, however, the Moon is in a planet busting mood this month, so if you try a change of direction, pick the 10th or the 11th when the brutes are occulted in turn, and rely on Comet Forbes for guidance.
h Aquarius:- Mercury is your ascendant, and it's near daylight crash against the Moon on April 14th vibrates your constellation. Be careful crossing the road this month, and don't step in front of truck until mid May.
i Pisces:- Nothing much happens in Pisces these days, however, the Full Moon shines on the Polar caps on Mars, and in your general direction. If you start (a) howling at the Full Moon, (b) growing excessive body hair, (c) planning to join the foreign legion - or all three, seek medical help.
If you would like a personal consultation to have your horoscope made or psycho-analysed, Con Huckstar can be contacted via email at the Society's email address.