Star Party Recipes – Texas Style

• Armadillo With Attitude
  Take one Armadillo, preferably dead, and remove whichever stomach contents and internal organs you don't particularly fancy.

  Replace these with three kilograms of assorted chillies, red peppers, freshly crushed garlic, spanish onions and indian curry, mixed thoroughly into a thick, gooey mash.

  Place armadillo upside down with it's shell filled with 250ml water and 500ml of Old Crow Whiskey in the glowing embers of a very hot coal fire and leave for about 3 hours, or until steam stops coming out.

  Serve to your guests, if you can find anyone hungry enough, providing each with a bucket or two of cold water.

  Pray.

• Cactus Cocktail
  In a stainless steel container pour one full bottle of Jack Daniels, one litre of blue agave Tequila, 1.75 litres of 100-proof Southern Comfort, one large diced watermelon, ten coarsely mashed bananas, the juice of four pineapples, ˝ bucket of shredded cactus, 1kg of prunes and 7 litres of apple juice.

  Stir thoroughly with a canoe paddle or small outboard motor until the mass forms into a uniformly homogenous khaki-coloured glop.

  Drink with eyes averted and having cleared your appointments and engagements for the following day.

  If taking any into the Texas Star Party tell Sheriff Jim at the gate that it is paint remover - you will doubtless be right.