By the ingenious usage of the "Slingshot Method", the broadcast beam passes in close proximity with 69 major black holes and is then amplified using gravitational lensing via a parabolic "dish" of galaxies in the Local Group. In fact a reversal of the "space-time continuum" in respect of some star systems resulted in the news being received on a number of planets before it was even sent. This has resulted in an interstellar ban on gambling in interplanetary events. The broadcast was compressed into what has hitherto been regarded as "Gamma-ray Bursters".
One of the items of interest to us concerned the release (on parole) of the notorious Bokglob Gröseblurter, who has had his cerebral cortex extensively reconstructed. Bokglob has apparently been assigned to "Operation SILE" (Search for Intelligent Life on Earth). This is a very labour intensive operation, with over 15 million American citizens alone, already having been abducted and given IQ tests, so far without success. Bokglob has been given the toughest assignment - working with blondes, due in part to his great experience in handling them.
This Millennia’s Miss Universe was reported to be Ms Rigel 14, whose shapely tentacles, 18 bright blue eyes and iridescent scales nudged Miss Achernar 3 into second place.
Buck Gordon won the Proxima Centauri to Canopus off tractor-beam Rally, after Dr Who was disqualified for allegedly finishing 2 minutes before the race actually started.
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A volunteer was scanned at 9 different wavelengths simultaneously, the results analysed by the detailed program sent by the Science Show, and combined into a high-frequency powerful transmission from which a hologram of our representative would be re-constituted by the data sent through hyperspace. The hologram has the complete memory banks of our "Astral Traveller". We are still awaiting news from "the other side".
Every precaution was taken during the transmission, which was monitored by our project director from beneath a neutrino-resistant safety shield for greater security as illustrated above.
In an exciting development, planetary and Solar System expert Greg Burnt has sought "observing time" on the Wiruna Radio Telescope, for his project on the origins of life. Mr Burnt has been conducting experiments using a modified microwave oven from which he had removed the air using a specially designed bicycle pump. Using deep frozen pizzas, he tried various frequencies of microwave radiation in the simulated "vacuum of space" to determine whether potential organic compounds could have been created on planets suitably fried by the background radiation from the galaxy. His findings will be tested using the ASNSW Radio Telescope, targeting Methane, Carbon Monoxide and Hydrogen clouds in Eta Carina. He had produced similar gases from the microwaved pizzas, and has noted that the rotation of clouds of interstellar gas in Eta Carina closely resembles the rotation of turntables in microwave ovens.
He concluded from his preliminary experiments, that Jupiter is "well done", Venus and Mercury a little "overdone", and Pluto, Neptune and Uranus were still on "defrost".
He is closely examining Saturn, and considers that the answer to life is still 42...