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"Line Dancing Spiders"

In a related development, Dr. Peter Lapin, reader in Arachnophobia at Bathurst TAFE, has made a major breakthrough in being the first human to establish communication with spiders.

Dr. Lapin had received details of the binary code in which the Coober Pedy space crafts’ data was recorded shortly before conducting field experiments with the newly discovered rare Arachnis Pittoiletis species of spiders. Dr. Lapin had noted that whenever Andrew Murrell was playing loud music on the western observing field at Wiruna, the spiders stopped whatever they were doing, and broke into what appeared to be line dancing. He soon realised though, that they were leaving in the dust, footprints in a series of dots and dashes amounting to the same binary code discovered in the space craft at Coober Pedy, translation of which revealed that these arachnids had been selectively bred by the Philosoraptures to assist in insect control. The insects of most concern were the Paleomega Ticks, whose bites injected an enzyme resulting in sterility in most species of Dinosaurs, and of itself, and threatened extinction of the genus even before the intervention of the asteroids.

The Line Dancing Spiders’ Lead Dancer posing for a photograph The spiders were moderately telepathic, enabling co-operation in tapping out elaborate messages, and for several million years had been unsuccessfully attempting communication with Kangaroos, which were bipeds of around Philosorapture size and posture. They avoided Emus though, being spider eaters.

Messages could be sent to the spiders in the form of musical scales, which were produced by Scott Muesli, Curator of Spiders from the Australian Museum, by varying the pitch of his chainsaw in the eastern observing field at Wiruna. The spiders have already been promised two rabbits per week, in return for keeping the under side of the pit toilet seats clear of Red-Back spiders, who traditionally sought out such places to protect themselves from asteroid impacts, in a demonstration of long lasting ancestral memory.

The ancestors of this small group had survived the nuclear winter following on the asteroid impact, by feeding on a Brontosaurus preserved in permafrost for 122 years.

To keep them happy, they have been told that the new re-enforced concrete slabs over the quadraphonic neutrino detector, are actually asteroid shelters constructed for their benefit - which, in a sense, is literally true, if only as a second usage.

Dr. Lapin is continuing a dialogue drawing on the spiders traditional history to try to cross-relate events as recorded by them to Geological and Anthropological history. One interesting discovery, was their story about the first Australians, some 60,000 years ago, had actually invented the telescope. This knowledge was lost when Australia slipped from being a green and well-watered land, to a desert in which survival was desperate and marginal. The didgeridoo, they reported, was a lensless memory of the original instrument, amongst a society which had lost touch with its original technology - the didgeridoo thus being used to amplify sound nowadays rather than light.

The Curator of Spiders, Mr Muesli, has been fine tuning his chainsaw in anticipation of further discoveries.