To maximise warmth, the skins are reversed so that the wool is on the inside, and handy eyepiece holders made from sheep’s ears are sewn onto convenient spots just below the left and right shoulders. They are available in three sizes - large, bloody large, and humongous, to provide for amateurs who usually like to wear multiple layers underneath.
The exteriors are died red to minimise reflections objectionable to deep sky observers, and elastic at the wrists and ankles keep cold updrafts at bay. They are available normally with the button-up fronts preferred by New Zealand customers, however zippered models are available for export to those countries where such new-fangled devices are commonly used. The hoods are crafted from a sheep’s head with the skull carefully extracted, and can be supplied with glass eyeballs for those who like such fashion accessories.
Several have already been supplied to a certain Australian Conservative party’s election campaign strategists for use during their forthcoming five-year study tour of Antarctica.
Heating is normally provided by lead lined pockets filled with low-grade atomic waste supplied by New Zealand’s secret atomic reactor on the outskirts of Kickapakeha, near Mt Cook.
I heartily endorse this product. On the coldest nights in the Hawkesbury district, mine keeps me snug and warm, while when I wear it in the streets, it is an obvious fashion sensation, with glances by passers-by reflecting obvious admiration.
There are of course certain don’ts. They are not for use on operating sheep farms, as otherwise sheep dogs can be a problem, while the use of Ewe skins can attract merino rams on heat. Otherwise they are a great success, and I expect to see many in use in the trend setting Hawkesbury Association in the months to come. $AU98.50 at all good Abattoirs.