ASNSW Vice-President Turns 50! Queen Sends Half Telegram

In a shock Announcement, Mr Adrian Saw, Vice-President of the Astronomical Society of New South Wales (Inc.) has received half a Telegram from Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.

Our sources have revealed that Adrian Saw has recently achieved the right royal age of Fifty (50 - that's half a century, not out!), and Her Majesty The Queen has decided to send half a Telegram to commemorate this glorious event.

Prime Minister to throw State Banquet at The Lodge

In a tribute to the greatest citizen never to stand for Parliament, the Prime Minister said today that he would either put on a State Dinner at the Lodge in Canberra, or a barbecue at his harbour side home at Kirribilli, depending on the wishes of his honoured guest. Those attending will include the Diplomatic representatives of countries who are member states of the International Astronomical Union, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and the Australian Test Cricket Team on their return from India.

In a related development, backbench members of the National Party are rumoured to be asking him to stand for office in the general elections to be held later this year, with the offer of science Portfolio in any future conservative government.

"His Early Years" - Reminiscences of Baroness Margaret Thatcher

Adrian first came to my attention in the months following on me becoming Prime Minister, when he was nominated for a Knighthood for his services to astronomy. Imagine my surprise when his modesty caused him to decline the honour. He had been well known for his work in correcting the design flaws in the Isaac Newton Telescope, and for his encouragement of the young Stephen Hawking when the latter had considered dropping science to take up study of Law.

His emigration to the colonies had, in fact, forestalled a government initiative to appoint him as Astronomer Royal, and had my successor, John Major not been defeated by that awful Tony Blair, he may well have been prevailed upon to return to take up that post.

However, Tony Blair had briefly lived in Australia, and considered that his civilising influence on the uncouth natives of that far off land was of such importance that he might well drag the Astronomical Society of New South Wales into the 20th Century long before the end of the 21st Century, as well as spreading British Culture, learning, and beer amongst the rest. Our loss has been their gain.