The Fine Print follows: Rumours have reached us that some sceptical readers have cast doubt on the veracity of some articles published in Alternate Universe. Rest Assured that this publication fully meets Australian Standard AS42 for Tabloid Journals, and exceeds the standards of accuracy required of British and US Tabloid newspapers. With any luck, some material contained in this publication will offend some readers, and those readers are encouraged to read on, to ascertain for themselves, just how offended they may become. Readers should remain aware that any correspondence regarding the offensive nature of this journal should be forwarded to the nearest paper recycling depot. The publishers of this journal will not be liable or responsible for any injury caused by this journal's contents, whether physical, psychological or otherwise, however any such injuries should be reported in full detail to the publishers immediately in order for new articles to be published in the following edition regarding such injuries.