UFO Doings

Celebrated UFO sleuth Barry Von Munchausen is leaving his outback research centre near Andamooka to undertake a mission to the US. Impressed by his acumen, the Wall Street Journal has contracted him to undertake an independent and in depth investigation of the Roswell incident. Barry will commence his research by interviewing a number of well credentialed witnesses, currently residing at the Betty Ford Clinic, and will then travel on to New Mexico where he will inspect the famous Carlsbad Caverns to check whether these may be being used as a base by the UFO's reported from time to time in the American west.

Roswell itself will, of course, be the site of the principle examination. He will be taking with him the dynamic duo, Ivor Merino and Dipso Maniak, whose incredible teamwork in operating their fast slewing meteor scope will be put to use in tracking any speedy UFO's that may appear during their stay.

Barry shrewdly issued press releases to such responsible newspapers as the National Inquirer, News of the World, and Daily Telegraph hoping that the aliens will get to hear of this mission and buzz him at Roswell out of sheer curiosity.

He will also visit a number of bars in Alabama, Mississippi, and Georgia, where patrons have consistently reported strange sightings on their way home at night to see if any magnetic anomaly associated with the geographical location of these bars may be implicated.

He also hopes to obtain DNA samples from a number of patrons who woke up after making their sightings feeling rather sensitive and as though they had been deeply probed in an effort to determine exactly what biological material the aliens were seeking. Realistically, of course, as more than 15 million US citizens report being the victims of alien abductions, he will necessarily be restricted to taking a representative sample of the victims, many of whom would, in any event, bend over backwards to be of assistance.