_ Taurus - Not content with spending June in your sign, Venus transits the Sun for the first time in 123 years. Taureans seeking romance should head north for that tropical holiday in the Sun as even if you are visually deficient in the good looks department, heatstroke and a few glasses of cool volatiles may well tip the object of your desire in your general direction. Enjoy.
` Gemini - Mercury in the ascending node near Pollux is your thrill of the month. If a pair of identical twins tickles your fancy send one a winged message, and if you get your face slapped, at least you know to try a different line on the other one.
a Cancer - Mars moves out of Gemini and into your sign this month. Comet NEAT has scuttled through on its way north, while minor planet Hebe gives the beehive (M44) a nudge. You Cancers must be damn near as confused by all this as I am, but don’t mess with neat beehives, and pass up that offer to feature in a survivor program set in a vacant palace in Baghdad and you may last until July - With luck.
b Leo - Noble, King of Beasts type folk, though most Leos I know tend to be mostly on the beast end of that spectrum. However, with Jupiter, King of the Gods in your sign perhaps your suppressed nobility will assert itself for a few weeks and you will be a social lion. Enjoy it while it lasts.
c Virgo - Nothing is happening with Virgo this month which is why many Virgos stay that way. The moon, however, will wander through your sign eventually this month so try to live a little - do strange things at midnight under a full moon while emptying a full bottle of booze. At worst, you will wake up with a hangover and the vague hope something exciting may have happened while you were liquored up - if only you could remember.
d Libra - You Librans are as badly off as the Virgos this month but better balanced about it and not uptight about the fact that minor planets Fortuna and Kalliope are stuffing about in Ophiuchus, which does not even rate in the Zodiac. Pray hard and maybe a meteor or fireball, or if desperate, a well lit Boeing 747 may pass through your sign this month and give you an excuse to get out of bed in the mornings.
e Scorpio - SFA happening in Scorpio this month, though the big, spectacular brute quickly reaches the zenith on June evenings, thrills visiting northern amateurs, casts shadows and generally hogs the sky. With all that going for you Scorpios, you don't need anything else to enhance you, so thrill the common herd with your radiant presence and pity them a little, though not TOO openly.
z Ophiuchus - You poor bastards. The Sun, Moon and planets have been trundling through the spot the Sun was in at the time of your birth, but the old-time astrologers didn’t give a damn. We do, and next year we may even give you a forecast.
f Sagittarius - Usually just sat on by superior Scorpios, at least you have minor planets Thisbe and Thetis in your sign in June. Thetis is rumoured to be the mother of Achilles so go see the movie “Troy”, bask in reflected glory and whatever gender you are, pray for pectorals like Brad Pitt's.
g Capricorn - With Neptune, God of the Sea in your sign, this is a good month to go for that holiday on a cruise ship. If you can't make it this month, don't worry as that lazy planet will hang around your neighbourhood for years so you have lots of time to get with it.
h Aquarius - You noble, artistic, sensitive and utterly cool Aquarians have Uranus hanging about as a reminder that all good things come to an end. In fact, on June 11, Uranus can't figure out which direction to go, but don't be fooled by this - pick a direction yourself and go for it as most directions seem to work for most Aquarians.
i Pisces - Normally all you crowd have going for you is the honour of being parked next to Aquarius. However, you are due for a visit by Comet 88P Howell which will bring a rare thrill to your dull little lives so get your circulation moving and slip into the fast lane for a change and throw off that cold blooded fishy existence.