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For Sale: Thermal underwear. Hand knitted from extra fine Alpaca wool produced by the top Alpacary at Cooks Gap.
Three centimetres thick, the innovative design incorporates Bathurst Burrs carefully inserted at the rate of one per square centimetre, guaranteed to stimulate the skin and produce a warm glow or some sensation or other every time you move. One size fits all - $99.95. Contact: Scots Muesli at the Humpy, Wiruna any New Moon weekend, or Spike Myth at the Tee & Pee Shop, Sydney. |
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For Sale: Observing Elixir. A healthy tonic as developed by Albigensian monks in 1232.
Made from eleven secret herbs and spices, it stimulates night vision by expanding the eye's pupil to 3cm diameter, while inducing rhapsody and heavenly visions if more than one litre per night is ingested. Also is effective for un-dewing optics and removing dried grasshoppers from car paintwork. A mere $50 per 10L barrel, from the Sofala fertiliser factory, Main Street, Sofala. |