It seems that as soon as the dedicated UFO observers at Roswell find a whole new class of UFO, those damned astronomers turn their telescopes on the objects and identify them.
They have identified things like stealth bombers, high-flying geese, turkey buzzards in mating rituals, iridium flares and of course those accursed weather balloons.
They have even identified Southern California licence plates situated beneath some of the Marfa lights.
The faith of the faithful is being sorely tested by this flood of inconvenient facts and the tourist trade in Roswell is coming under severe pressure, with another two hundred motels closing in the past month alone.
The Chief Troublemaker at Comanche Springs has been deported to Australia lots of times but keeps finding his way back to Texas, so just trying to get rid of them may not work.
Roswellites consider that the best solution is to upgrade the research at Comanche Springs to get the kind of results UFO fans have come to expect.
This can be helped by equipment at Comanche Springs being revamped to Ufology standards - cameras made incapable of focussing, mirror coatings being stripped, lenses given additional optical coatings of axle grease etc.
In this way the faith-based science on which generations of UFO folk have existed and depended can be enhanced and preserved and all this business of amassing confusing evidence relegated to history.
Grey aliens, little green men and bug-eyed monsters have been creatively designed over the past fifty years to meet a psychological need and deserve to reclaim their place in science.
Aliens rule!